The Changing Seasons: Fall/Winter
By Jon Martinez
Edited by Michael K. Vega
Prologue: The Last Leaf of Summer
The clock ticked back and forth. The day rolled forward. Rolled at the pace of a snail. Muddy. Matt stared out the window. His finger sunk deeper in the wood of the desk. The old desk that had carvings professing love, words of encouragement and words of hate.
Mrs. Carter rolled on about the beginning of the United States and the travels of early settlers to the New World. Matt wanted to be interested. He was interested but the day was different. Rolling the same but in a different direction. The town he lived in, Quartz Falls, never went in a different direction. Not even during the Civil Rights movement. The town looked in one direction. White, family-oriented, and football.
Matt broke his gaze from the falling leaves and brought his attention to the front of the room. Mrs. Carter was old. He wondered if she was married. His gaze traveled to her ring finer. Empty.
“Figures” he thought.
Taken aback by his own thoughts Matt shook his head vigorously. Tony, the boy next to him leaned close.
“Trying to stay awake?” he asked.
Matt turned to Tony, his best friend.
“It’s interesting” he sighed.
“Bullshit.” Tony retorted as he flicked his pencil eraser at Matt.
Matt and Tony were inseparable since fourth grade. Tony defended Matt against Ryan, the class bully. Ever since then, Matt always made it a point to invite Tony everywhere he went. Matt’s mom took them to the movies and the mall. Tony was the brother he never had. When they entered high school nothing changed, even though their lives did. Tony, of course, joined the football team, while Matt focused on writing and the school newspaper. Tony’s teammates accepted Matt for who he was. “Tony’s Kid Friend” and Matt was alright with that. Matt actually enjoyed tagging along with Tony and his other friends. It made him feel alive and important. He even looked up to Tony even though they were the same age. Tony was built bigger then he was. Athletic. Matt was just - average.
Tony leaned over to Matt tapping his shoulder.
“Hey spaceman, were going to the park to throw the ball around before try-outs next week. Wanna go?”
Matt smiled softly.
“I can’t throw a ball around.”
“But you can be my support.” Tony tapped Matt’s head softly with the pencil.
“Cool.” Matt whispered as he turned his gaze back to the window.
He suddenly realized why he was so entranced by the outside. The tree had just lost its’ last leaf.
The Leaf (A Change)
Matt sat in the grass with his notebook. He had an idea to write an article about the preparation of football try-outs.
“At least they’d read it in this town.” He thought.
He watched as Tony tackled Rodger, a bigger guy, to the ground for the ball. Matt had to smile at this. One of the reasons he always wanted to be around Tony was that he felt safe. The strength he had, physically and mentally. Matt continued writing. He turned to the grass beside him in thought and noticed the leaf. The one that had fallen - the last one. How he knew it was the same leaf, he was unsure, but he felt it. Picking it up, he examined the shrunken veins of it. The texture. The brittleness. The power. The power he had to crush it with a single motion. He liked that, for once, he was in control.
Tony felt the air rush pass his ears as he ran and tackled Rodger. He felt a sense of accomplishment when he did this. Rodger was much bigger than him. He loved the power and control he felt when he played football. It meant a lot to him when he had the ball and when he brought it safely to the other side. Sometimes he liked when people watched, especially Matt. Matt was the little brother he never had. Or at least once had. Tony’s family lost their little brother at the age of three to a drunk driver. Tony never got to fill the roll of a big brother. On some level, Matt was Tony’s brother. He would do anything for him. Tony hated the narcissistic feeling he got when he knew people were watching him. But with Matt, it was okay. He felt the pride Matt felt when Tony did something right - something good. Looking over at Matt he noticed him picking up a leaf. The image was burned into his brain. The beautiful image, as Matt crushed the leaf into a million pieces.
The Walk Home/The Car (A Dialogue)
“Do you think you’re ready?” Matt asked pulling his jacket closer to him. Chilled.
“Yeah. I hope. I am. I just get so nervous. Even though I play in the summer, it’s not the same. What were you writing today under the tree?” Tony asked.
Matt looked up to him and was lost for a moment, then answered.
“About football. Well, about the preparation for the try-outs. I figured it would get the more athletic people at school to read the newspaper. Hardly anyone does. I hear they might cancel it altogether.”
“No. They won’t. Next to football that’s the next best thing our stupid school has.” Tony said, comfortingly.
“You think so?” Matt asked, hopeful.
“I know so.” Tony replied, grabbing Matt by the neck and dragging him up Tony’s drive way. They passed Tony’s family’s house. The huge, old, Victorian stood massive on the street. It’s the kind of house that you’d think is haunted. Matt never liked the house. He always got Tony to go to his house for everything.
“I want to show you something.” Tony said going toward the garage.
Matt followed. When Tony grabbed him, he was chilled.
The two boys entered the old garage. It was nice to be out of the cold Matt thought. Tony went over to a huge car covered in a sheet. He pulled it off revealing a half restored, blue, 1953 Corvette Convertible.
“Isn’t it awesome?” Tony asked, gleaming with pride.
“Where did you get this?” Matt asked amazed.
“My dad. He found it when he was on his business trip to Cape Cod. Some man was selling it and my dad bought it and had it shipped here for me to work on.”
Matt examined the ancient car. Excitement stirred inside of him.
“Can you imagine all the stories that this car probably has? It could have had a million owners! One of the owners could have been famous!”
Tony smiled.
“Get in.”
Matt, not hesitating, hopped over into the driver’s seat and grabbed onto the wheel.
“Hey! I can’t ride shotgun!” Tony called over.
Matt gave him a challenging look. Tony rolled his eyes and hopped in the car. Shotgun. The boys sat there, silent for a moment.
Tony spoke first.
“I’ve been restoring it little by little. I thought of showing you after it was finished but it’s taking longer than expected. Now that winter is coming. Well you know…”
Matt flicked a couple of switches on the radio.
“I do. You’ll take a short break but in no time we’ll be driving this baby down the freeway. Maybe out of this town.”
“You want to leave that bad?” Tony asked.
Matt thought for a moment.
“No not that bad. But it would be nice to see something other than Mrs. Fuegal perform her annual production of Gypsy.”
“I thought she brought something to the character that was actually quite groundbreaking.” Tony said smartly.
Matt launched his arm back to punch Tony in the arm but Tony’s reflexes were too fast and he caught Matt’s punch in midair.
“You’re too slow!” Tony said laughing.
“Let me go!” Matt said struggling to break free of Tony’s hold.
They both laughed at Matt’s attempts. Tony held onto Matt’s fist. The laughing grew softer. Tony’s grip loosened. Matt felt this but didn’t take his hand away. His hand slowly started to expanded in Tony’s. Tony’s stayed there. The hands stood together as their palms met. The boys stared at their hands as if they had minds of their own. Tony never realized it but Matt’s fingers were slightly longer. Matt knew this. Their fingers slowly clasped together. This bond they felt was different than their normal bond. It changed. Tony, on impulse, slowly brought Matt’s hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. Matt looked into Tony’s eyes searching for the reality of Tony’s actions.
“You know, you could catch a ball easily if you played. Your fingers are big enough.” Tony said still holding Matt’s hand.
“I know. I never wanted to tell you cause I thought it would hurt your feelings.” Said Matt.
Tony laughed softly.
“Why?”
“Because they’re bigger than yours.”
Tony had to laugh at this.
“You’re a huge loser.”
Matt laughed and turned away. Tony felt another impulse. He reached over with his free hand and gently grabbed Matt’s face and turned it to him. Matt’s heart was pounding. He never wanted to feel anything for Tony. The thoughts that were shooting through his head were ones he had pushed away. He always knew he didn’t like girls. So did Tony. So did both of their parents.
“Tony…” Matt started.
Tony shook his head to silence Matt.
“I don’t know how to explain any of this. Don’t ask.”
The two boys stayed in the car. Silent. Holding hands. Chilled.
Interlude to Home/Through the Window
Matt stirred the chocolate milk mix into his cup. He watched the contents swirl. Changing – from white to black. His mom, Sandra, stood behind him heating soup.
“How’s the cold coming along mom?” Matt asked sipping his chocolate milk.
“Terrible.” Sandra sniffled.
She brushed her short brown hair out of her face. Matt’s mom Sandra was a pretty woman. Short in stature, she was a woman who had a good life. She never wanted more than what she got. She was okay with that.
“Mom, what do you think about me going to college out of state?”
Sandra smiled, “I’d be okay with that.”
“Really?” Matt asked, puzzled.
“Why not? Besides, you’d give your dad and me a reason to leave this town once in a while.”
“You’re a good mom.” Matt said, leaning his head lightly on her shoulder.
“You’re an okay son.” Sandra said jokingly.
Matt grabbed his cup and headed out of the kitchen.
“You’re an okay mom.” He said as he left.
Matt entered his room. The night was cold. He slipped on his extra socks and sat on the bed. Grabbing his laptop, he slipped his blanket over him. The cursor blinked repeatedly on an empty page. Matt scratched his chin.
“Football…Football…Football?” Matt thought.
His computer buzzed. In the corner of his window, his instant messenger blinked. It was Tony.
“I’m sorry” Tony typed.
Matt thought of just ignoring it and claiming he was sleeping and forgot to log off when we saw Tony the next day but he knew he couldn’t.
“For what?” Matt replied.
The messaging window instantly indicated Tony was typing a reply.
Matt sipped his milk.
“For what happened in the car. It was weird. I was weird.”
Matt typed, “Don’t be. I’m not. It’s just…”
He stopped. Deleted what he wrote and typed again.
“I would like to see you now.”
He waited for what seemed like an eternity then Tony replied.
“I’ll ride my bike.”
The window indicated that Tony had logged off. Matt’s heart pounded again – just like before. He quickly thought of his parents and what they would think about Tony coming over at this hour. He tried to think of excuses. Suddenly, the little clock ticking next to his bed seemed louder. Tony lived only two blocks away. Matt jumped out of bed and quickly threw jeans on. Rocks began hitting Matt’s window. He ran over to the window and opened it. Shivering, he and Tony met eyes.
“It’s cold.” Tony said gripping his jacket closed.
Matt smiled, “You’re an idiot for not wearing a scarf.”
“And even more of an idiot for throwing rocks at your window. I’m coming up.” Tony said as he began climbing the paneling on Matt’s house.
Tony had done this plenty times before. Tony’s parents fought often and he would escape to his best friend’s house. Matt opened the window wider. Tony entered. Matt looked at him. Something had changed. Matt tried to remember the boy he knew from fourth grade but instead he saw a man. Broad shoulders, muscles, and the jaw line that he never noticed before.
“My parents are still up and I think that-.” Matt stopped in mid sentence. Tony took a step closer to him.
“I don’t know why…” Tony started, “but ever since the park I see you differently. I saw you under the tree and you were just sitting there. I’ve seen you sit before, obviously, but you seemed different in the light from the sunset. Under the tree, It was like the old you fell off your body and this new you emerged. I mean that thing that happened in the car. I didn’t plan that. I promise.”
“I admit, I was a little scared but I know what you mean, about seeing something different” Matt said looking away.
He felt scared. Tony was so close.
“I want you to know you’re still my best friend.” Tony said grabbing Matt’s hand.
“I know.” Matt replied
“Nothing will change between us. It doesn’t have to. We can just stop this and I’ll never talk about it and you won’t and we’ll go back to just. Us.” Tony said.
Matt had never seen him so nervous. Matt raised Tony’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. They shivered.
“But this is us.” Matt said.
Tony let go of Matt’s hand and brought his hands to Matt’s face. They looked at each other for a moment. They looked at each other’s eyes. The same eyes they had always seen were suddenly different. Tony’s were still blue and Matt’s were still brown. Neither of them could figure it out. Tony slowly kissed Matt. Matt could feel Tony’s hands shaking as the kiss grew longer. Matt felt the feeling he felt when he held the brittle leaf. Power. He wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist. They shivered again. A cool winter breeze now filled the room. The window was still open.
Your comments are welcome! Stay tuned for part 2! (Special thanks to Mike for your help!!!!)
