And somehow it still isn't enough....(Brake-ups)

So not being in a relationship at the moment has given me time to really look at other peoples relationships. Mostly the ending and post brake up parts of it. I've gotten the chance to really see different types of relationships meeting the "rocky bridge". The short ones, long ones, and short ones that mean a lot.

A friend of mine, let's call her Rachael, is going off to collage and her long termed boyfriend, let's call him Ross, really had a problem with it and rebelled. Mind you they're on and off to begin with. Rachael wasn't going to just give up her education for Ross who wasn't really going into the direction of college. I think she was doing just right with her choices. Anyways they ended up just going their separate ways but they still keep in touch. Why? why not, just say hey fresh new start! Good luck and have a nice life? The thing with them was that because of their history they can't let go. I suppose that's understandable but even after all that time put in, why isn't someone going above and beyond just once to make things work....was all that time spent not worth anything? after all that, somehow it still isn't enough.

My friend, lets call him Mike, is new to the whole dating scene in the new environment of guys. His first boyfriend, let's call him Ely, however wasn't. Now they started their relationship not to long ago and it was going great and they were having fun, nothing serious was cramping their awesome aura BUT SOMEONE got in the way (but that's a whole other blog entry). Now Mike put everything he had into this first relationship even though they were having fun. It might not have been his heart, that he put in, but he put time and the emotion that leads up to the heart. Why couldn't Ely just be happy with the energy Mike was giving him, somehow it still isn't enough.

My friend, lets call him Cay, really gave this guy...Billy his heart. The works, the time, the money, the tears, the laughter, and the heart. Unfortunately their relationship began to just run it's coarse which is understandable BUT how come Billy couldn't do the same and swallow his pride and just try and show Cay he cared to try and save what could possible be something still? Obviously Billy had his moments of caring but he didn't give enough to Cay, as much as he deserved. Somehow what Cay gave, it still isn't enough.

I like to think of it like when I audition for something. You have a song and a monologue and you are ready to wear your heart on your sleeve for whatever you're going to perform. You go into the room and you pour your heart and soul into the song or words. You try and read the directors facial expressions to see if he/she liked it. He/she may give you feedback or he/she may just say thank you and then you go home and you wait to see if you got the part. The waiting is like the mid point of the relationship. You gave it your pitch now let's see what comes back. Sometimes you don't get that call and now your left with the thoughts of: "Did I suck?" "Did he/she hate me?" "why?" "WHY?!". The truth is every person reads you differently, some people don't appreciate you well enough to see your talent and some see it and hold onto it. Sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't. That's how our wonderful world works. Even though it leaves us wondering if we did something wrong, most of the time we didn't. We should be grateful that we can even attempt to throw ourselves into the midst of something crazy as an audition or a relationship. It shows how much bravery and character we posses as a person.